@TheAlexNevil: My wife's celebrity "free pass" is Paul Rudd, and mine is my wife because yah right like I'm gonna walk into *that* propeller blade.
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@MickSnark: Using dog shampoo when I run out of cat shampoo because I ran out of human shampoo a week ago.
@SuperRandomish: We squint at the sun because it's bright. We squint at people because they're not.
@CorkyKneivel: I can't get her off my mind, even the wind seems to whisper her name. Never fall in love with a girl named WHOOSHEE FFREWERRREFSHH.
@Sickayduh: [recording studio] Producer: Um what're you guys doing? Singer: Ending the song Producer: You don't have to fade out. We'll do that in here.