@TheAlexNevil: My wife's celebrity "free pass" is Paul Rudd, and mine is my wife because yah right like I'm gonna walk into *that* propeller blade.
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@simoncholland: Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on? Stop talking in secret code.
@supertweetjen: The guy two cubes down wears vests, curls his mustache, and never says a word. I always smile politely because maybe he'll spare my life.
@JaimeSamantha: It's wildly known that all the great artists of the renaissance era loved eating pizza in sewers.