@TheAlexNevil: My wife's celebrity "free pass" is Paul Rudd, and mine is my wife because yah right like I'm gonna walk into *that* propeller blade.
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@Kyle_Lippert: Coming soon to NBC: She's a lawyer who, you guessed it, doesn't play by the rules. And he's a doctor who, right again, pees sitting down.
@sucittaM: Accidentally triple-knotted my laces so I guess I'm wearing these shoes for the rest of my life.
@DiamondLou69: "I'm definitely gonna hit that later tonight!" - Me pointing out the light pole in the parking lot of the bar.
@gavinspeiller: Anyone under the age of 21 should be legally required to end every sentence with the phrase "but there's a good chance I'm wrong about that"