@TheAlexNevil: My wife's celebrity "free pass" is Paul Rudd, and mine is my wife because yah right like I'm gonna walk into *that* propeller blade.
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@WilliamAder: Why hang Wanted posters in the post office? We're not crime-fighting crusaders. We're buying stamps.
@realHamOnWry: I got a new cat from the inner city shelter. So far he seems fine, except for needing to go outside every hour for a cigarette.
@dixonshuman: My memory is horrible but I remember every person I loaned a book to that didn't return it.
@sarcasticmommy4: "If you can't beat them, join them," I say, as I join my kids in demanding someone make breakfast.