@squirrel74wkgn: My wife's fish net stockings are so tight that my legs look like wafer cookies when I take them off.
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@3hunnathot: one time i had sex while watching zootopia for the first time and she got mad because i kept looking at the movie lmaooooo... it’s a good movie smh
@david8hughes: [bday party] Mum: happy birthday son Me: wow that's a huge cake! Mum: its full of bees Me: what Mum [backing away]: I said it's cream cheese