@squirrel74wkgn: My wife's fish net stockings are so tight that my legs look like wafer cookies when I take them off.
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@StarWarsProblms: *primitive gungans defeat battle droids* *Stone Age ewoks beat elite stormtroopers* *improbable underdog story defeats logic and reason*
@CatherineLMK: Apparently nothing offends a toddler more than suggesting they might be due for a nap.
@jtrulez: Oh LinkedIn, what juicy tidbits do you have for me today? *raises monocle* Stanley added a skill?! HAHA! That is most delightful! *sips tea*