@qwertying: My wife's idea of oral sex is to sit down and talk me out of it.
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@BillMc7: listen, officer - t h e o r e t i c a l l y - would I still get a carpool lane ticket if I have a body in the trunk
@noog: People talk about the environment like the Earth’s in danger. Don’t worry about Earth. Earth was a ball of magma once. Worry about us.
@dreamsinchocola: My husbands signature move is running to town "real quick" and coming home 5 hours later.