@Home_Halfway: My wife's leaving me for refusing to stop referring to our children as my Capri Son and Capri Daughter.
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@mlevchin: Front page of cnn.com features "Cats that look like Hitler". Just not enough other important stuff happening in the world, I guess.
@lazerdoov: *in a job interview* No no it's not a teardrop tattoo it's supposed to be sweat. It shows I'm a hard worker
@rzarosco: Just in: Chinese people confirm they were just messing with us with chopsticks. "You guys look like dumb idiots lol" says one Chinese guy