@Home_Halfway: My wife's leaving me for refusing to stop referring to our children as my Capri Son and Capri Daughter.
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@sarcasticmommy4: Anyone know a Minecraft interpreter? I don't understand my son's Christmas list.
@Scott_A_Gilmore: I love it when I go to untie a shoe and inadvertently tie a Double Reverse Hitch knot and have to hire an Eagle Scout to get my sneaker off.
@The_JRM: 5yo: I dreamt I ate your brownie. Me: Wait, what happened to my brownie?? 5: Dreams come true.