@Brianhopecomedy: My wife's online shopping downstairs so I'm upstairs logged on to the same site and deleting everything in her cart.
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@blondecalamity: Someone should have warned me, that when you have kids, they talk to you, like, ALL. THE. TIME.
@Brampersandon_:  ALIEN: take me to ur leader ME: uh ok *takes him to president Donald Trump* ALIEN: lol good one but seriously where's ur real leader
@DonSchanke: For once I would like to find a babysitter that doesn't get all upset when she gets to my house and realizes I don't have kids