@yonewt: My wife's signature move is asking me a question then turning on the faucet when I answer.
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@Vodkantots: I had no internet or cable last night and I was left with my thoughts. I guess that's why the pioneers usually died so young.
@HaramiParindey: Interviewer : What are your expectations? Me : Job. Interviewer : I mean what do you want from this job? Me : Salary
@floydimus: "I'M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN!" Brain: LOL Empty bottles: LOL Wine shop owner: LOL New bottle: LOL Bottle opener: LOL Liver: LOL Me: LOL