@carlyken: My work day has been like the movie Sound of Music. But with less singing. And more Nazis.
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@Ygrene: Me (young, foolish): refrigerator may I have a few ice cubes? Refrigerator (old, wise): one or one-thousand, there is no few
@jakob_huber: "Still upset about earlier?" Yeah "So you knocked over a few spaghetti boxes at the store. No big deal" I WAS A WORLD JENGA CHAMPION, SALLY
@GibJimson: Assert your dominance by crossing out your coworkers name on their food and put your own. Then eat it in front of them.
@LurkAtHomeMom: 1st Kid: spends 6 weeks sewing perfect costume 2nd Kid: *cuts holes in an old NKOTB beach towel* just say you're an 80's ghost or some shit