@HallpassCanada: My work has this cute thing they do where if you're really good at your job, they get you to do everyone elses too.
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@Parkerlawyer: My kid lost a tooth and the Tooth Fairy doesn’t have anything less than a $20 bill. This is not the motherhood I envisioned.
@TheMichaelRock: Kinda rude of my neighbors to be burning leaves before I had a chance to blow mine into their yard.
@alizmay: Pregnancy test commercials would be a lot more relatable if the women in them cursed and cried.