@MondayPajamas: My worst fear is seeing one of my tweets marked as "exhibit A"
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@rachaelkelly18: I love how coffee tricks me into believing I'm in a good mood for about 27 minutes
@FatherofTweet: Wife: "The two things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie." Husband: "Which is this?"
@JoePetroske: 1: Acquire scuba gear. 2: Strap duck decoy to head. 3: Dive in local pond. 4: Enjoy unlimited free bread crumbs.