@virtualghufran: My yearbook quote is the only thing I am proud of
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@alexwyse: Since it's impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I've decided to have an ongoing crisis.
@yerpalmildsauce: Here it is, folks: "Do imaginary octopi have ... (wait for it) (wait for it) PRETENDACLES?"
@NYC_Blonde: I've kissed so many frogs trying to find a prince that I've actually discovered several new species.
@Brianhopecomedy: They must have had a really good laugh when doctors realized that thermometers could be taken orally too.