@MariyaAlexander: My years of napping and making out with strangers have prepared me for a solid career as a CPR dummy
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@michael_raphone: Actually, the past tense is 'hanged' as in 'he hanged himself'. Sorry about your dad, though
@carlyken: Just remember, every time someone misuses the word "epic" Zooey Deschanel covers another Smiths song on her ukulele.
@Mothpete: The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That's 15 minutes, right? I'm not reading too much into it?
@david8hughes: [shipwreck diary] Day 3: dude next to me can hold his breath for 3 days. Going on 4. Very impressive.