@ericsshadow: My youngest is being tested for the gifted program at his elementary school and my other son thinks his toothbrush is haunted.
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@mydmac: (At the dentist) 'Your grinding isn't good.' Excuse me! I've never had a man complain before.
@jonnysun: phd thesis: the amoumt of property damage depicted in a action movie is directley proportional to its budget
@ch000ch: [pours a bag of sugar over a tire fire] hmmm [tastes remnants] i think i'll call it... Twizzlers
@roostermustache: Me: can i play music Funeral director: that's not appropriate Me: nana would've wanted it Director: ok CD player: someBODY once told me