@ericsshadow: My youngest is being tested for the gifted program at his elementary school and my other son thinks his toothbrush is haunted.
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@VerbsRProudest: When someone accuses you of being defensive, you can't deny it without sounding defensive. Just hurl a flower pot. No one expects that.
@nerdamage: Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own problems that I forget there are people having real fights on the internet.
@dave_cactus: MUGGER: *pulls out a knife* ME: *pulls out a jar of marmalade and two biscuits* MUGGER: Lovely.
@EJGomez: [holding my aunts stupid idiot baby] what sound does a cow make "moo!" good now a dog "woof woof!" 2 for 2. now...WHERES THAT MISSING PLANE