@CarltonnBanks: #MyHomelessSignWouldSay Obama aint the only one who wants change
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@hippieswordfish: before guns were invented, armies had to throw bullets at each other and if a bullet touched you, you had to sit out until the next war
@badtweetist: *travels back in time to kill Hitler as a baby* *becomes known as time-traveling baby murderer & history's greatest monster*
@shanethevein: I'm starting to think some of you are actually on Facebook. You know we just joke about being Facebook right?
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I used to give my co-workers nicknames based on their most dominant features, like 'Loves Abortions Brenda' or 'Eats Her Feelings Julie'.