@TEXASVETERAN: Na Fa Fo Na Na Fo Fo -Sassy black girl giving me her digits.
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@Playing_Dad: Me: You want to watch a horror movie for Halloween? Dog: Sure, put it on Me: *turns on Dyson vacuum infomercial*
@preritpathak: People on Facebook Nowadays: *Clicks pic while sipping coffee* *Posts as DP with irrelevant caption: Every scar makes me who I am* WTF?
@MoistPork: Just once, I'd ike a cop to pull me over and tell me how great I'm driving, especially considering I've had 12 beers.
@Henry_3k: My therapist says I need to overcome "shame-based" thinking but if it wasn't for shame I don't think I'd get a damn thing done around here.