@Token_Geezer: Nah mate, when the Americans talk about football they mean that silly game where the fat men dress up as Transformers
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@RoastedPapad: *Buys new iPhone* *Crosses road tweeting about it* *Accident* *Dies* *Makes entry in heaven* - Sent via iPhone.
@CauseWereGuys: My roommate is 3 days younger than me so ive gotten in the habit of saying “when i was your age..” and then describing what i did 3 days ago
@Cryptoterra: Christian politicians hate science because they think it's always talking about two Adams bonding