@Token_Geezer: Nah mate, when the Americans talk about football they mean that silly game where the fat men dress up as Transformers
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@causticbob: Its funny how your parents tell you its their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too.
@protolalia: It's sad when your closest friends get remarried and you know it'll be another 2-5 years before they're single and ready to hang out again.
@DebraMuffin: The best way to run into that hot person you've been dying to talk to is to leave the house looking the worst you possibly can.
@BryMastas: Someday, I wish Twitter will come up with a new & useful feature for once, like a sarcasm indicator for the ones who never get it.