@iTomFoolery: Namaste or Namago.
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@SteveSuckington: [therapy] WIFE: he favors our son over our daughter ME: No way, I love whatsherface just as much as I love Johnny
@AaronFullerton: I bet the frankincense guy was all like, "Let's put the three items in one gift basket and the basket can be from all of us."
@callie_cakes: Ex picked up the kids, brought me coffee & took out my trash. This divorce thing is really working out for me.
@KentWGraham: Our forefathers fought against British rule so anyone can become president. For the first time in 240 years, we’re regretting that decision.