@chilldadpalguy: name a hurricane "Jesus" cuz then u could say "Jesus is coming" & have unaware ppl frantically prepare for rapture
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@AristotlesNZ: Got caught again. Next time I'm stealin alcohol from the neighbor's, I gotta remember not to do it hummin the Mission Impossible theme song.
@Donna_McCoy: Welcome to Passive Aggressive Club. We all got here early, but you just take your time.
@ShitJokes: My friend keeps saying, "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.
@LuckoftheDraw86: God invented co-workers to remind us that dying alone wouldn't be such a bad thing.