@Parentpains: Name your child autocorrect, because eventually they'll just finish your sentences and correct you every chance they get too.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AbrasiveGhost: *deals poker hand* peacock that’s just looked at his cards:[giant feathers start spreading triumphantly] everyone, at exactly the same time: fold
@mjkspeaks: [argument w/girlfriend] HER: you know what your problem is? ME: no, *grabs pen and begins taking notes* but i'm about to find out
@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: How would you define yourself? ME: *don't let her know you're a delicious chocolate cake* Moist
@JT_IV_: What kind of paperwork do I need to fill out to get a permit to set my children free in the wild?