@Parentpains: Name your child autocorrect, because eventually they'll just finish your sentences and correct you every chance they get too.
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@davedittell: LAMP FOR SALE: gold, antique, good patina, evil genie, functions like new, you will be killed, shiny, polished, be careful what you wish for
@juliussharpe: I like to pretend I'm on "American Idol" by holding a piece of paper with a number on it and running out of a room like an idiot.
@hoverbird: Everybody thinks "The Social Network" is the best movie about forming a new startup, but they are wrong. The best movie is "Ghostbusters".