@CroweJam: Named my hamster Spam so when he dies I can bury him in a little tin coffin with his name on it.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jordan_stratton: Gotta love those girls in department stores wearing lab coats--taking time away from their experiments to help women out with their makeup.
@McGrumpenstein: Noah, surrounded by a million pieces & trying to make sense of his IKEA Arke pictogram instructions, feels the first drop of rain. Shit.
@OtherDanOBrien: [a 2nd grade classroom 5 yrs from now] TEACHER: Khaleesi M, please leave Khaleesi S alone. Khaleesi T, I still need your permission slip
@twylaredsun: Sending a second cup of coffee down to check on the first one to see why it's not doing its job