@Kyle_Lippert: Name's Bond. James Bond. *Drinks martini* Jame's Bond. Names Bond. *drinks another martini* Bame's Jond. *Drinks 1 more* THIS IS MY SONG WOO
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@JCWisdomNuggets: "Paper or pl.." ..astic! OMG we finish each other's sentences! You complete mmmm... "I'm not saying 'me'" ME! OMG we did it again! "..."
@nbadag: [to an inflatable tube man waving outside a car dealership] i feel like you're overreacting. these are moderate savings at best
@loudmouth_usa: My therapist wants me to start coming in twice a week probably because I'm super interesting
@Jerrypleasure: *robbing a bank* 6-year-old: dad, take that stocking off. There's only about 80 cents in this piggy bank.