@Kyle_Lippert: Name's Bond. James Bond. *Drinks martini* Jame's Bond. Names Bond. *drinks another martini* Bame's Jond. *Drinks 1 more* THIS IS MY SONG WOO
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@xLiserx: Superheroes come from broken homes & inattentive parents. Parents, stop hugging your kids. We need a Batman.
@chryztl: My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs... I've been his customer for 6 years... I had no idea he was a barber.
@mostunladylike: Mugger *shows knife* Crocodile Dundee "No this is a knife" *pulls out huge knife* Alanis Morrisette "Hang on" *sifts through 10,000 spoons*
@robboma3: Seriously In 20 years time and you're at a pub quiz and a question starts with "in what year" Just answer 2016