@JLazySAngus: Naming a dog after alcohol is cute until they run away and you scream their name until your neighbor brings you a bottle to shut you up.
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@wendchymes: My Boyfriend hates it when we role play and I'm the Doctor cause I make him wait 3 hours bill him then send in a med student named Chad.
@ItsAndyRyan: The English language lacks a word to mean "To make a spouse feel uncomfortable by aggressively cleaning the house around them".
@ndiquote: interviewer : you said you have a dark past, so why should we hire you ? me : ...so I can pay my electricity bills