@JLazySAngus: Naming a dog after alcohol is cute until they run away and you scream their name until your neighbor brings you a bottle to shut you up.
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@claudiaa_haleyy: I hate that "You know what to do" voicemail greeting, because if a recently unfrozen caveman calls, I bet that makes him feel pretty bad.
@jordan_stratton: Oh, man. My grandma caught me texting my OTHER grandma and now things are super tense.
@funWindow: Prove im not a robot by typing the wierd letters? um PRove your not a robot! i can see u computer yoU are a robot and this is my website now
@totallymel: my grandfather destroyed the economy w/ the overproduction of coins he pulled from behind my ears. the market simply could not deal