@timdonakowski: Naming my daughter "A Relationship" so I don't have to worry about punks wanting to be in her.
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@moose_chocolate: A coworker told me she was "catching up on her correspondence" so apparently it's 1932 here at my workplace.
@Cheeseboy22: New Subway rule: You must give the person in front of you a wedgie if they take more than 5 seconds to choose what kind of bread they want.
@MomOfTeen: If by "junk in the trunk" you mean the untouched gym bag I store there, then yes, I most certainly have junk in my trunk.
@_mindflakes: Me: Siri how much moss is it safe to eat Siri: I wasn't built for this Me: Siri, the moss Siri: Please let me go back to the phone factory