@timdonakowski: Naming my daughter "A Relationship" so I don't have to worry about punks wanting to be in her.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@kashanacauley: What we've learned from this skittles incident is that we should all stop eating refugees.
@craiguito: My ex used to say there was one person for everyone. I didn't realise he planned to be that person
@SarcasticCharm: Please pray for my friends' 4 yr old. I just found out that ten minutes of his life wasn't photographed or documented on Facebook today.