@timdonakowski: Naming my daughter "A Relationship" so I don't have to worry about punks wanting to be in her.
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@InternetHippo: me: this MAN thinks he's ENTITLED to my time! hey buddy i don't OWE you anything!! my boss: do you…know how jobs work
@TheToxicWaster: My wife said she wants a divorce for valentines day. I wasn't planning to spend that much..
@TheQuietPsycho: Apparently just because your dad had a bunch of DUI's, the cops won't accept "tradition" as an excuse as to why you're driving drunk.