@Reverend_Scott: Naming that space movie Gravity makes about as much sense as naming Jurassic Park something like There's No Dinosaurs In This.
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@Sassafrantz: If I'm ever reincarnated I hope I get to be a bear because I'll be like "stop playing dead, I used to be human. That shits not gonna work!"
@Brianhopecomedy: 2 year old runs naked down the street. "Awwwwwwwwwwwwww." I run naked down the street. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
@Book_Krazy: The lazy river is my favorite ride at this amusement park. "Ahhhhh!" I scream as I float in a giant circle, not spilling my drink at all
@AimeeHelene1: News said how hard it'd be to shoplift a turkey. Amateurs. It's all about commitment. *stuffs turkey under shirt* *whines that back hurts*