@SortaBadass: Naming your daughter after a luxury car or precious gemstone is a wager with the universe that your parenting can make her not be a stripper
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@JustDontBugMe: I don't understand Dentists. I'm sitting here with like.. knitting needles in my mouth and they think I can answer stupid questions.
@DaveWeasel: If your new boyfriend carved your initials into a tree on your first date, let the fact he brought a knife be a sign of things to come.
@UncleDuke1969: Shot pool with my 15yo son. Taught him a valuable lesson. You can restart a video game 1000 times. You can only lose your allowance once.
@david8hughes: [throws a dart at map of the world] One day, I'm gonna go over there & pull that dart out. The next time I wanna play darts, probably.