@SortaBadass: Naming your daughter after a luxury car or precious gemstone is a wager with the universe that your parenting can make her not be a stripper
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@Sam_Alan33: MARRIAGE PROPOSAL TIP: Get down on 1 knee. Ok, now the other. Great! Lie flat on your face. Quickly roll away don't get married you idiot.
@JediGigi: Waiter: And what would the lady like? Me: Waiter: Me: Waiter: Me: Date: Gigi, he means you. Me: *blushing* Oh, wow. He called me a lady.
@RoosterMustache: Early bird gets the worm 2nd mouse gets the cheese 3rd cow gets the grass All cows get to eat grass tho, theres not really a low supply.
@DothTheDoth: If you're in an old house & the basement door opens for no reason, go into that basement.