@DanielAda1960: Napkins used after eating hot wings and then put in your pocket should NEVER be used as toilet paper no matter how much you've had to drink.
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@meganamram: Such a double standard that when a guy sleeps with a ton of people he's "cool," but when I do I'm "lying"
@freeDone01: My body is telling me to go to sleep but my brain knows that there are Oreos in the pantry.
@EndhooS: Wife: He's just so literal all of the time, he gets so confused Psychiatrist: Is this true? Me: [worried] Are u really gonna make me shrink?