@hazelmotes1: Neck Tattoos: helping employers make hiring decisions since 1992.
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@IamEnidColeslaw: "911, what is your emergency?" I got stuck in a beaded curtain "Again?" SEND HELP
@PaperWash: Your honor let the records indicate my client was upsexy Judge: what's upsexy? [lawyer whispers to defendant] quick, this is your chance
@sirmunchie: My GF arrives in town next week. I'm so excited! I just hope that all the tension w/ Russia doesn't make U.S. immigration hold up the mail.