@OpenClassMX: Need tips on making something look like an accident.
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@warhorse76: Who invented Bull Riding? Hey, I'm gonna hop on that 2,000 pound pissed off animal...Time me.
@Blue_Crab: My BFF asked me to watch her purse while she went to the bathroom. I asked her what it was going to do. I'm hilarious. Everyone says so.
@mikeleffingwell: "And... uh... chocolate kills dogs." - God puts the finishing touches on life on earth.
@CallMeDraper: Bath time without my phone: 10 minutes Bath time with my phone: 45 minutes 75 retweets 1 wrinkly baby