@ch000ch: need to find a better way to trick my dog into taking his medication bc the last 2 times he tricked me into taking it
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@chewlongkok_: [On phone to police] Has there been a report of a pervert in the park? P: No, there hasn't. Me: oh good. [Goes back to hiding in bushes]
@mattZillaaaa: My bank called me for suspicious activity on my account & I was like "no, I went out last night"