@ch000ch: need to find a better way to trick my dog into taking his medication bc the last 2 times he tricked me into taking it
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@TweetingDadGuy: Started to feel bad about my life but just saw a bumper sticker that said "I Love My Grand-dog" and I think l'm going to be ok.
@hazelmotes1: "They are more afraid of you than you are of them." -people who know even less about me than they do about bears
@amydillon: Roasted broccoli for dinner tonight, and the rave reviews are in. "What is this? It tastes like hair," said one ungrateful child.
@Scott_A_Gilmore: Shout out to vegetarians for never having ant problems. All ant scouts find is broccoli crumbs and despair, and who wants to feed on that.