@yonewt: Needing to "loose" some weight this year isn't your biggest problem, my friend.
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@JermHimselfish: I hate it when I see an inflatable arm-flailing tube man and then I realize that he was actually flailing his arms at someone behind me.
@KeetPotato: [me giving a tour of pillow factory] guy: "what do you fill the pillows with?" me: [spotting a family of ducks in tour group] "just stuff"
@thejessbess: I always wear running shoes while driving because you won't know what the terrain will be like until after the cop pulls you over.