@yonewt: Needing to "loose" some weight this year isn't your biggest problem, my friend.
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@trevso_electric: Trev's antisocial challenge: walk up to the first coworker you see and say, "I'm sorry you feel threatened by my triceps."
@KeetPotato: "if you could be any animal what would you be" a cat "why a cat" [imagines being a complete shithead for literally no reason] naps and stuff
@Prof_Hinkley: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Off duty cop: No *cop gets so close their mustaches interlock like velcro* You're driving great, pal
@comfynumb2012: Good news, people in 3rd world countries, suffering inexplicable hardships- Amy from fb says god won't give you more than you can handle.