@yonewt: Needing to "loose" some weight this year isn't your biggest problem, my friend.
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@hipstermermaid: It's amazing that whales have evolved to live for over 700 years and humans have evolved to spread misinformation online! Nature's wonders!
@thatUPSdude: Turns out cops get really pissed if you slip out of your handcuffs even if you say "Ta-Da" when you do.
@Sickayduh: My girlfriend has twin 3yo girls. They each have a sippy cup with their names on them. When she's not looking, I switch the cups.