@yonewt: Needing to "loose" some weight this year isn't your biggest problem, my friend.
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@kelkulus: A dating app called "Hinder" where some guy shows up in the middle of every date and ruins everything.
@ValeeGrrl: After years of marriage & kids I have no idea how I'd handle a 1st date. Just give him a juice box, crackers & an iPad? Do I bring coupons?
@BoogTweets: *Flicks cigarette after a long drag* Here's the thing. If Santa knows when kids are naughty or nice then he knew Rudolph was being bullied