@GibJimson: Nephew: Were the scorpions around when there were dinosaurs?
Me: You mean like the band?
@rachelle_mandik: A bathroom fixture is knocking at your door.
Just let that sink in.
@fillthevacuum: *watches a house fall on you*
*steals your shoes*
@I_Bl33d_Purple: No Grandma, a brothel is not a soup kitchen.
@Aspersioncast: If I've learnt anything from Zombie movies it's that people meat is pretty damn stringy.
@JustinSouvanna: Some tattoo artists need to just say, "no, I'm not doing this shit."