@CooperLawrence: Netflix documentaries convinced me I should be vegan. So I did what any American would do. I bought some bacon and canceled Netflix.
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@Pirate_nurse: In my defense I told him it was my cheat day and I didn't understand why he brought home cupcakes and not Juan from the gym
@imence2: Step 1:Make pillows with"Love" printed on them Step 2:Become a lawyer Step 3:Defend men who smother their GF with love Step 4:Become rich
@tiffpats4eva: Watching The Bible. Didn't realize everyone spoke w/ a British accent back then. Neat.
@P1ssed_K1d: Accidentally played dad instead of dead when I encountered a bear and now it can ride a bike without training wheels. #circuseverydamnday