@Advil: Netflix should double as a dating site and be like "here are 9 other singles in your area that watched LOST for the past 11 hours."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Adyaces: No matter how much I shake my phone, you still won't come out. Are you stuck? I think you're stuck.
@QwertyJones3: [speed dating] HER: I'm a real planner. I like people who plan ahead. ME: *trying to impress her* I'm already wearing a condom
@michaelianblack: Why are we making such a big deal about the wheels on the bus going round and round? They're wheels.