@SamReidSays: Netflix, stop making me wait 15 seconds between episodes. I can't click because I'm eating cereal and a sandwich.
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@3sunzzz: I'll take Dumb Ideas for $300, Alex. Your Answer: sit on the ground and eat food while bugs crawl all over you What is a picnic? Correct!
@joci2203: Him: How many glasses of wine have you had today? Me: One, but it was in the shape of a giant bottle.
@AmishPornStar1: I long for the days when waking up with a "stiff one" wasn't referring to my lower back.