@gtfml: Never ask me "Who hurt you?" unless you want to sit through a 13 hour PowerPoint presentation.
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@blondecalamity: Me: I baked cookies! Who's the best Mom ever? Son: Oprah! Me: Gimme the damn cookies back! Son: See? Oprah GIVES, she doesn't take!
@Steelers1972: If you don't have a dog whistle, you can use two teenage girls who have not seen each other in forever.
@Cravin4: My top 5 yoga positions 5 Napping Warrior 4 Downward Spiral 3 Crying Plank 2 Farting Tree 1 Drunk Hasselhoff
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Liam Neeson: What I do have are a very particular set of skills. Me if I were the kidnapper: *is.