@gtfml: Never ask me "Who hurt you?" unless you want to sit through a 13 hour PowerPoint presentation.
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@KKAlThani: Hello is this NASA? Ya what will happen if the sun decided to come out at night? Is it still called night or morning? Hello?
@stephenjmolloy: Doctor: "I think this patient is dying. What blood type is he?" Nurse: "B positive." Doctor: "Okay. I don't think this patient is dying."
@Lisabug74: One time I was really high and attempted to flush my foot down the toilet. There was no Twitter then, so I'm telling you now.