@myhairisblue: Never be afraid to acknowledge your accomplishments
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@shamans_heal: I've seen: •UFOs •Ghosts •A Two Headed Turtle •Kimodo Dragons But nothing is as unbelievable to me as seeing Trump run for president.
@robdelaney: My niece just said "Birds live in a birdhouse & we live in a people house!" Cute, huh? Wrong; my niece is 26 & on trial for manslaughter.
@mattytalks: I was fired from my job at the sperm bank for saying "get a load of this guy" every time someone walked in