@_sanshandle: I'm not an animal expert but feeding your pet chimp Chinese food doesn't seem right. Then again, neither does owning a pet chimp.
@Jayson_Two_time: Shout out to the guy behind me flashing red & blue lights.
@the_paramedicK: What idiot named her Miley Cyrus' grandma and not Nana Montana.
@iGreenMonk: 1)Print out a "WANTED" poster with your face on it.
2)Dress as a cop.
3)Go around asking people if they've seen this person.
@KatieLaveski: Diet plan: make friends fatter
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