@sarcasm_inc: Sorry I'm late, guys. SOMEbody.. *gestures at wife* told me this knife fight started at.. *sees everyone holding guns* FANtastic, Ellen

@trojansauce: FRIEND:i suffer badly with insomnia ME:what's that FRIEND:it's where you can't sleep ME:you just*lays down*just like this *falls asleep*see?

@wickedsuga: Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons? *reason #42 why I can't fall asleep

@Shelts99: I may have hit rock bottom, but the upside of being down here, is I can see up all of your skirts. As you were.

@dumbbeezie: Fun fact: they used acronyms back in colonial times too but DOS meant Dead of Smallpox and LMFAO meant Lost My Farm and Outbuildings