@DranoRaul: Never, ever ask a woman if she's pregnant unless you see an actual baby being born. Even then, act surprised.
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@longwall26: It must be almost impossible for chalk-outline guys not to turn victims' hands into turkeys this time of year.
@shutupmikeginn: Astronauts are cowards, why don't you stay down here and face earth's problems like a man
@justabloodygame: *scrawls note on deserted isle* TRAPPED ON ISLAND! HELP ME! *sends off in bottle* *it returns, months later, with reply* NEW BOTTLE WHO DIS?