@chrissyteigen: Never forget
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@Xoolun: My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with bodybuilding. I could feel the weight lifting from my shoulders.
@whatmaddness: GOD: u get powers for one day and this is what u do? [every animal now has a startle reaction like a pufferfish] [an obese tiger rolls by]
@PetrickSara: My birth control is my 5yo running around in circles at 5am screaming "I have so much energy! I have so much energy! I have so much energy!"
@CatherineLMK: Be warned, person who set of a whole bunch of fireworks at 4 am--you've made a minimally powerful enemy.