@chrissyteigen: Never forget
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@MsNitnots: Girl in front of me on the bus just sent a text that was like a novel and the response was like a word and now even I'm pissed off about it.
@TheAlexNevil: Her: I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you *she stabs me Me:..but...you...didn't...tell...me She: Yes I did. You never listen.
@crushingbort: one time I saw a cop on a horse start to walk it down some steps and I thought "oh the horse is trained for stairs" and then they both fell
@DanKCharnley: No matter what meal it is, always say you had "brunch" so people know how much better than them you are.