@PaperWash: Never go shopping on an empty stomach, I just went to Macy's before dinner and ate 7 turtle necks
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@BasicLyes: Impractical Joke: Replace my girlfriends house cat's with mountain lions so she think's she is shrinking.
@kwirkyKerri: I don't have a pet so I decided to adopt the spider living in the corner of my kitchen. Her name is Monique. I hope she isn't knocked up.
@Gwinifer: Safe to say a good 38% of my life is spent trying to sleep while the 18yr old stomps through the house like an angry triceratops.