@PaperWash: Never go shopping on an empty stomach, I just went to Macy's before dinner and ate 7 turtle necks
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@theshantilly: Therapist: How do you feel? Me: With my hands. T: Do you deflect a lot? Me: Only sharp objects. If it's fluffy, I just let it hit me.
@everygirI: if ur worried ur not gonna get a New Years Eve kiss just remember that Valentines Day is in 45 days n ur probably gonna b alone for that too
@ericsshadow: [traffic stop] COP: where ya headed? ME: on my way home COP: *shining flashlight in my backseat* ME: look at me when I'm speaking to you