@PaperWash: Never go shopping on an empty stomach, I just went to Macy's before dinner and ate 7 turtle necks
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@ScottWesterfeld: Plot idea: 97% of the world's scientists contrive an environmental crisis, but are exposed by a plucky band of billionaires & oil companies.
@AGreaterMonster: If Twitter adds an edit button you'll retweet "I like kittens" and ten minutes later it'll say "I drink period blood."
@AmericanGent69: Danny Zuko: I got chills, they're multiplying... Sandy: Gross. You probably have a stomach bug.
@FattMernandez: I always cut my 6 pack rings so they don't choke any dolphins. If I'm gonna choke a dolphin, it'll be with my bare hands.