@RyanAndrewMitch: Never go to a place that has burgers, sushi, chicken wings and donuts on one menu. Never.
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@stoneman67: I followed this woman on a bike with an empty baby seat for a half a mile yelling, "your baby jumped out!" before she gave me the finger.
@DirtMcTurd: Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times? I tried that with my dishwasher and she ended up pregnant.
@TheTweetOfGod: Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty, and money can buy a lot of other really cool stuff, so try to have some at all times.