@RyanAndrewMitch: Never go to a place that has burgers, sushi, chicken wings and donuts on one menu. Never.
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@ShitJokes: On a ladder putting a cinema poster up. Lady said "Is King Kong Coming?" I said "No it’s just the paste off my brush"
@weinerdog4life: What's the normal amount of hair to mail someone? I feel like this is a lot of hair I'm mailing to someone
@McGunnersite: I'm giving up alcohol for a month. Wait sorry, that didn't come out right : I'm giving up. Alcohol for a month.
@shopkins776: If there's a zombie apocalypse and you see one zombie taking a nap, that will be me