@RickNothing: "Never go to bed angry" is the worst advice ever. I haven't slept in eleven years.
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@KalvinMacleod: BRAIN: it's 4am u up? ME: leave me alone B: who was our grade 5 teacher? M: stop B: why's our eye itchy? M: I'm ignoring u B: engage bladder
@meakoopa: JURASSIC PARK is a movie abt how just bc something is great doesn't mean u should bring it back and it has three sequels
@Brampersandon_: BOSS: You forgot my birthday didn't you? ME: *lighting candle* No what gave u that idea? BOSS: idk maybe that candle stuck in a urinal cake?
@Donnie_Fairburn: I could get hit and killed by a truck right in front of him and my dentist would still find a way to blame it on the fact that I don't floss