@DannyZuker: Never had a gay thought in my life but when Daniel Craig jumps onto the back of the train & adjusts his cuff I now kind of get it.
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@1Bad_Scientist: Her: Why do you have a copy of 50 Shades of Grey in your bathroom? Perv! Me: Oh. No that's just for when I run out of toilet paper.
@ibid78: [plays dead to stop a bear from chasing me but then it plays dead next to me and we end stargazing together, forming a spiritual connection]
@bazecraze: Morpheus: "You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and--" Me: "Blue pill."
@krisv_723: Plot twist: I knock on Jehovah's Witnesses doors. "I'd like to talk to you about modern science "