@DannyZuker: Never had a gay thought in my life but when Daniel Craig jumps onto the back of the train & adjusts his cuff I now kind of get it.
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@shariv67: When villainy didn't pay anymore, The Riddler got a job writing furniture assembly instructions for IKEA.
@junejuly12: If you want some alone time, tell your husband that you're going to watch the Bachelor. Even if you're not.
@GrantTanaka: sometimes I wonder if Einstein's friends were ever able to say "nice work, Einstein" without sounding sarcastic
@TeachersHot: Sunday mornings are a great time for me to reflect on why I haven't killed anyone yet