@DannyZuker: Never had a gay thought in my life but when Daniel Craig jumps onto the back of the train & adjusts his cuff I now kind of get it.
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@CoopSoSarc: Stress from children can take 10 yrs off your life Drinking alcohol from stress can take another 10 yrs Based on my math, I died 5 yrs ago
@SarcasticAlly12: "I see you have created a tiny human. I, too, have done this." -me trying to make mom friends. Should I not whisper it? I'll try shouting
@ClichedOut: Her: You look great without glasses Me: I don't wear glasses Her: *putting them back on* I do
@pharmasean: I'm rubber, you're glue. He's scissors, she's a toner cartridge, those fellas are paperclips. Welcome to the supply closet pal.