@CantWaitToNap: Never have I ever... rushed out of my house pretending I had to be somewhere & drove around neighborhood to get somebody to leave.
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@Sarcasticsapien: Cinderella is my favorite story about women who fight over a man who doesn't even remember what a woman he spent the night with looks like.
@Death_Buddy: Hey, did you say that your dog likes to 'exercise' or 'exorcise'? [dog is already throwing holy water around the house]
@13spencer: [Justice League HQ] Batman: Hahaha *changes his HBO GO® password and doesn't give the new one to The Flash*
@Jenny4ashley: [leaving store without bag] Cashier: Forgetting something? "Oh wow, how embarrassing" *walks back to give her a hug and kiss on the lips*