@OreoSpeedwagon_: Never judge Darth Vader's parenting abilities harshly when we live in a world where Toddlers In Tiaras exists.
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@bigdumbbrad: I only put one eye on my snowman. That way, if it ever comes to life, the lack of depth perception will give me a tactical advantage.
@electrolemon: damn girl, you got a butt that WON'T QUIT *butt pulls out a knife* wait, no- *butt stabs me* no, stop- *butt doesn't stop* ...et tu, bootay
@AndyAsAdjective: Honey, you know the part in The 6th Sense when she drops his wedding ring & you realize he's been dead the whole time? Well I want a divorce
@mulliganstewed: As soon as my daughter realizes Jamacians, Irish, & wizards don't all have the same accent, I'm probably going to get fired from storytime.