@Loli_Sug: Never kick a porcupine wearing flip flops. Cause they're obviously on vacation and why ruin their holiday?
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@MrMichaelRose: *impulsively buys a private island *frolics on the island for several weeks *gets Mastercard bill in the mail WHAT THE F--oh yeah the island
@BuckyIsotope: *spends 30 minutes trying to unzip my pants to have sex for the first time* *girlfriend sighs* "Just take off the mittens" MY HANDS ARE COLD
@IamEveryDayPpl: The real miracle is that the human race still exists after being stupid enough to kill the guy who could turn water into wine... Idiots.