@Loli_Sug: Never kick a porcupine wearing flip flops. Cause they're obviously on vacation and why ruin their holiday?
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@samfromks: My wife has been helping my neighbor hook up his VCR for 3 hours now. Starting to get suspicious... What kind of monster still has a VCR?
@lecalabara: Hide all your naughty entertainment on VHS. Even if your kids find it, they will not know what to do with it.
@Mr_Kapowski: New Coworker: So do you have any kids? Me: Yeah, one too many New Coworker: Haha, oh yeah? How many do you have? Me: One
@LuckoftheDraw86: In a room full of idiots screaming their opinions at the top of their lungs, be the guy in the corner doing finger guns with his reflection.