@PyrBliss: Never knew why pajama tops had pockets on them, but I just filled mine up with cookies to bring back to bed and now it makes complete sense.
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@audipenny: I noticed that you're still staring at me after I already answered your question, what can we do to stop this
@LoveNLunchmeat: I used to think people who looked for sex on craigslist were rock bottom... Then I discovered twitter.
@CroweJam: I can walk up to any dog, rub its butt and make a friend. That trick only works about half the time on people.
@zachreinert03: If a genie granted me 3 wishes I'd ask for unlimited wishes, then I'd probably take a nap