@PyrBliss: Never knew why pajama tops had pockets on them, but I just filled mine up with cookies to bring back to bed and now it makes complete sense.
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@jonnysun: [at a fancy restuarant] WIFE: make sure u leave a good tip ME: ok [writing on bill] "only evolve ur pokemon when uve activated a lucky egg"
@Tups13: No strings attached relationships are all fun and games until you fall for a guitar. Or a marionette. Or a yo-yo.
@TheCiscoKidder: I knew it was time to vacuum when the baby rolled over and looked like an everything bagel.
@BritishNicx: Me: Oh yeah, baby. Tie me up and put a blindfold on me...Grrrr. Him: Erm...I'm only here to rob the bank...and I have a boyfriend.