@CruelMeiga: Never let the printer know that you are in a hurry.
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@SamGrittner: POLICE OFFICER: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" ME: "Because you know I love riddles."
@TheToddWilliams: [butterfly residence] WIFE: You said you'd change, Carl HUSBAND: But I have WIFE: Not really HUSBAND: Uh…I used to be a fricken caterpillar