@3sunzzz: Never play hide-and-seek with a 4yo in the mall. I know that now.
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@protolalia: My ex DM'd me to say I'm acting creepy then unfollowed me. Luckily, I have his password so I just refollowed myself and told him he's wrong.
@Tall_Yoda7: *struggling to get the peanut butter jar that I just closed open* "HOLY COW, I'M STRONGER THAN MYSELF"
@TheTweetOfGod: Capitalism is controlled by an "invisible hand" that gives most people the invisible finger.