@Savage_Scavange: Never really had a nickname in my life.. Except maybe that one time a bunch of chumps called me "The defendant" for a full day.
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@SadMeterologist: Told my wife I wanted our kids every other weekend and she reminded me that we're married & live together so I'd have to see them every day.
@causticbob: If you have a choice between ugly or fat, remember this. You can turn the lights out on ugly, but you can always feel the fat in the dark.
@shutupmikeginn: Ah yes keep complaining the guy at 7/11 doesn't speak English well enough, like you aren't the moron who needs help in a convenience store
@OwensDamien: In an attempt to build some exercise into my daily routine, I’ve put the biscuits on a higher shelf. Boy, I’m gonna be sore tomorrow.