@KatieBurnett: Never seen anyone in Nandos or McDonald's pick up an appropriate amount of napkins - you're cleaning up after a burger not a double homicide
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jergarl: I've been leaving a dollar in every book I read my entire life for my kids to find when it's my time to go. I'm already up to like 3 bucks.
@Fred_Delicious: [sees some cut grass] "Nice" [sees some ripped leaves] "oh yea" [sees a twig with a 6 pack] "holy shit"
@TheAlexNevil: "If you love the bed so much why don't you marry it?" *imagines beautiful ceremony on the beach, me & Beddy. No one can stop our love now.